In 2012, I started running at 43
not to win, not to PB.
Just to find a better version of myself after smoking for 20 years.

Some say it’s midlife crisis.
I call it “发心” a vow to myself.

2014: picked up cycling.
Same year: I learned to swim from scratch, as a certified land animal.

2015: first 113 event. Unexpected podium.
2017: Full Ironman Langkawi.
3.8km swim, 180km bike, 42km run all completed with ITBS on both legs.

I still remember the sea
like a washing machine full of limbs and chaos.
And my STW tri gang
crazy, kind, and beautifully mad.
We laughed through pain and trained through tears.

But after more than a decade,
I’m letting go.
I’m officially retiring from triathlon.

COVID changed everything.
No races. No training groups. No rhythm.
What used to be my daily practice became a burden.
Not cultivation just苦行 (suffering).

I found peace elsewhere.
Trail running became my temple.
Off-road motorbiking and pickleball brought back joy.
No pressure. Just play.

My “last dance” was supposed to be Desaru 70.3 in 2023.
I trained. Showed up. DNF.
Ego bruised, I signed up for another race.

Then bridge cracked.
Race postponed to Feb 2024.
Too close to CNY. Mood gone.
Deferred to 2025. Spirit also gone.

In May, I joined a short-term monk retreat at Dong Zen Temple.
No phone. Just mindfulness.
Met a young triathlete roommate.
Offered him my race slot.
No reply for weeks.

I nearly go for the race myself
no training, just heart.
Then days before the deadline,
he messaged: “I’ll take it.”

I handed it to him. Half price.
No hesitation.
No sadness. Only release.

Letting go is also merit.

Any regrets?
None.

Completed a full Ironman
Multiple 70.3 races
Learned to swim
Found crazy Tri friends I now call brothers
Even Langkawi, I finished while limping.

That’s enough.

I’m 56.
My ITBS still haunts me.
My body breaks faster now thanks to off road motorbike and gym.

Letting go of tri doesn’t mean letting go of discipline.
I still run. Still ride.
But I follow a new path one that suits my season of life.

Maybe I’ll return. My TT bike is still in the storeroom, waiting.

But for now…

🙏 I bow to my journey
🙏 I bow to my teachers
🙏 I bow to my STW gang
🙏 I bow to the me who knew when to begin and when to stop

Terima kasih, triathlon. You’ve given me enough.

Namo Amituofo.