Last week, I casually asked one account executive to join me and our HR head for lunch with my ex-manager.

Surprisingly, she said “OK.”
No checking calendar.
No excuse.
Just “OK.”
That “OK” felt like a small victory.

I genuinely enjoy connecting with my team.
But over time,
I’ve accepted a simple truth …
Most colleagues avoid eating lunch with the boss.

Not because they don’t like us.
But because I carry a certain… aura.

After years in the business world,
and now managing my own firm,
I’ve observed a few consistent reasons why:

1. Lunch is Sacred “Me Time”
   The morning is already packed from Zoom calls, urgent emails, client fires, and last-minute deadlines.

Lunch is the only break where no one is chasing them.

Then the boss appears and says, “Let’s lunch?”

Mampus leh!

2. Past Lunches Weren’t Just Lunches

Some still recall the trauma.

Mid-bite, boss drops:
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“Any thoughts on the new public ruling or new auditing standard?”
“Any reflection on the recent tax case on..?”

Appetite disappears.
The mind switches into ‘interview mode’.

3. Image Control in Progress
   Most colleagues have two modes:
   Office version
   Lunch version

With the boss around, the office mask stays on.

4. Lunch Hour = Life Admin Time
   This is when they:
   Shopee buyung
   Reply unread WhatsApp messages
   Watch half an episode of Koreadrama
   Scroll TikTok for trending memes

One hour. Recharge, reset, relax.
Boss at the table? Everything kena pause.

So what is my lunch routine?
Simple. Quiet. Mostly vegetarian.
Sometimes chap fan, sometimes soup.

While eating, I usually:
Write a LinkedIn post
Read Sin Chew Newspaper on the app
Catch up on WeChat Book reading app

Colleagues don’t avoid lunch with the boss out of disrespect.
It’s not personal
It’s structural.

The moment a boss appears,
the energy in the room changes.
People behave differently,
whether we like it or not.

So these days,
I seldom initiate.
Not because I’ve given up,
but because I respect their time to unplug.