Today was supposed to be my longest off-road ride ever.
150–180km off road.
Johor Jaya to Taman Tenggara in Kota Tinggi.

I packed my gear last night like a school kid.
Top Gun Helmet,
Michael Jackson boots,
RoboCop knee guards,
Gladiator armour.
70’s disco kidney belt
Even slept early.

8:45am I shot off from Johor Jaya
9:00am I turned back at Mount Austin Shell.

Why?
Not rain.
Not mud.
Not bike breakdown.

I injured my butt squatting to pump air into the tyre.
Yes.
Squat.
Pump.
Butt gone.

Pain so bad,
I almost collapsed beside the petrol kiosk.
People must think I just lost a fight with a MMA fighter

Took me 15 minutes just to remove my gear in car park.
Every squat to unzip/unbutton
Michael Jackson boots,
RoboCop knee guards,
Gladiator armour.
70’s disco kidney belt
I cried like Michael Jackson high note “Beat It?”

From 180km trail warrior…
to 15 minutes history less than 5km, shortest ride of my life.

Straight into car at 930am
Straight to my seng seng (my physio) for 11am slot.

I’m 56 this year. Am I too old for this?
I tell myself maybe can ride off road until 60.
But last month I rode with uncles 60+++, still faster and skillful than me.

Meanwhile me? KO by one air pump.

So my only question to seng seng today:
“Can I ride tomorrow?”

If he say no… I will %#^* him

Off-road biking is dangerous.
But never thought my most embarrassing injury would come from a tyre pump.