Many many years ago,
I shouted and my voice could travel across building.
I wrote abusive emails and WhatsApp messages.
I once threw an audit file into the dustbin right in front of the PIC.
My red big big marker pen? A weapon on working papers.

I has a reputation a bad temper animal in the town.

Outside work, I wasn’t any better.
I smashed golf clubs when shots went out of bounds.
I even broke a brand new driver on its first day in golf course.
On the tennis court, rackets flew and I smashed tennis rackets to pieces

Last ten years …
something changed.
Age taught me what youth never did …

I realised something painful.
Nobody will work with me.
Nobody will play tennis or golf with me.

So I chose to control my temper
instead of letting my temper control me.

That shift was not weakness.
It was wisdom.

Sometimes I succeed in controlling my temper,
sometimes I fail.
But
People around me say I have changed.

But two years ago,
I slipped again.
A colleague undermined my managers and wrote incriminating notes repeatedly in the file.
Despite my earlier polite reminders,
the colleague continued to ignore my instructions.
I erupted and scouted
My throat burned.
Sweat poured.
My voice collapsed.

That was my last outburst.
I realized every fight comes with a cost on my health especially at this age.

Now, when anger rises:
I pause.
I breathe.
I let go.

Because health is more valuable.