Last Friday night, WhatsApp from my pickleball group :

“🏆 Friday Fixed Partner Mini Cash Game. You in or not?”

I signed up fast.

I started pickleball last February 2025 in Kulai. New court near my house, so it became my home ground.

Back then, all of us beginners.
Miss easy ball together. Laugh together. Same standard.

Then Oct to Jan, I disappeared.
Injuries, motorbike trips, deadlines.

Recently I only do one drill session a week with my ex-tennis kaki near office in his condo.

So I told myself for the cash game. “Go check level only.”

I partnered with a strong stranger.
Nine games. 15 points. Mostly strong players.

First game, body on court.
Mind somewhere else.

That little voice from “The Inner Game of Tennis” book came out.

“Don’t embarrass your partner.”
“Eh why they improve so much?”
“Why that lady serve harder than you?”

Serving is supposed to be my pride.
Flat, deep, topspin, sidespin… even banana spin.

But that night, my serve became “rotten banana”.

After game 3, I started choking.

Cannot drive.
Cannot dink.
Cannot reset.

The more I tried to fix, the more I collapsed.

Opponents noticed.
They avoided me then I became spectator in my own match.

Malu? Yes.
Quit halfway? Wanted.
But cannot lah. My partner not wrong.

Last game, organiser consoled me. “Last opponent weakest one. Cannot dink.”

We still lost.

Yips attacked on me.
My playing partner lost faith on me
Physical tired. Mental kosong.

I apologised to my partner repeatedly.

Then next Monday, I joined a casual social game with weaker players.
Suddenly… my normal game came back.

That’s when I remembered. It’s not you vs opponent. It’s you vs you.

Friday, my real opponent wasn’t the lady’s serve and my opponent’s dink.

It was my ego.
My self-talk.
My fear of looking useless.

And like a golfer who sometimes gamble, I know this truth.
When the mind gets noisy, even easy shots become impossible.

After Friday, I did what most players do.
Blame my one year paddle.
Buy brand new paddle.
But I know… paddle not the problem.
The mind was.

You ever kena “yips” in any sport. #otaklembu #otakudang