A new prospect walked into my office.
Didn’t sit down.
Didn’t shake hand.
Didn’t even say “good morning.”
First sentence,
straight to my face:
“Mr Koh, you got lubang with LHDN one right?
Everything also can kautim one right?”

I smiled.
Not because funny.
I smiled because after doing this line for 30 over years,
this kind of question still makes my heart broken.
⠀
If I say “cannot”, the reply comes immediately:
“But my friend said can one leh!”
Hmm… which friend ah?
I also want to know him.
Maybe got one secret LHDN WhatsApp/Telegram group,
just nobody invite me only.

If I say “can”,
suddenly I become magician already.
Last time I check, my name is Koh. Not David Copperfield.
My hat got no rabbit inside,
only got Tax form, SST return, Form Q.
⠀
All these years, I heard this kind of talk in so many versions:
“You do tax so many years, sure got way one lah.”
“My previous accountant also can do one.”
“LHDN side, you got people inside one right?”

Every time I hear this, my heart quietly vomit blood.
⠀
Let me tell you the truth.
The hardest part of doing tax, is not the law.
Not the numbers.
Not even LHDN audit.

The hardest part, is to handle typical Malaysian taxpayer expectation:
Want fast
Want cheap
Confirm save tax (pau one)
Two packets of Dunhill also can settle
Best is no document needed
Best best, can settle with one magic word, “lubang”
⠀
That mysterious “my friend got lubang” fellow,
I really hope one day can meet him.
I want to sit down with him.
Order one teh tarik.
Then ask him slowly:
“Boss, I do this line 30 years already, until now still no cable. Can teach me or not?”
⠀
But Malaysian taxpayer must understand one thing.
That old era, already gone lah.

LHDN already not sitting insma anymore,
waiting for your file to come by post.
Now, everything already digital:
e-Invoice
MyTax
e-Filing
Buyer, seller, bank, SST record, all also cross-check with each other.
Your numbers,
already not quietly sleeping inside your own accounting software anymore.
They are talking to other systems.
And LHDN algorithm, don’t take MC one.
⠀
Me, as a tax agent, standing in the middle.
I want to help you.
I want to guide you.
I want to solve your problem.
But I cannot just kautim your tax like that.
Not because I don’t want to help.
But because come 2026 already,
some things really cannot kautim anymore.
⠀
So next time, if somebody whisper to you:
“Don’t worry lah, my tax agent got lubang one.”
Please ah, introduce to me also.
30 years already, I also want to see this kautim legend.
Because I don’t have cable inside LHDN.